Tech Advancement: is there an iPhone app that measures fear of tech evolution?

i'm reading a book by Christopher Moore called "Fluke". it has little to do with technology; it's actually a story about a whale-watching scientist who sees a strange message on the tail or 'fluke' of a diving humpback. this blog entry stems from a minute part of the story that had little to do with the plot or characters. it was simply a description of some of the scientist's equipment which included a "portable GPS (global positioning system) device". when i read this, i was taken aback because the book was written in 2003, and yet, the author felt it necessary to explain the acronym GPS. if he wrote this book a mere 5, maybe even 4, years later, that explanation may not have been necessary. a bit profound isn't it?

to me, the evolution of technology is both wonderous and terrifying. in recent decades, the rate seems to have grown exponentially. i had an earth science professor who believed that our technology is growing too fast for us - that it is developing at a rate that we humans cannot handle. i tend to agree with him. and i don't think that bodes well on our survival as a species. sure this evolution has created miracles in health care and information access. but at what cost? face-to-face communication is decreasing and we learn about each other through Facebook statuses and MSN names. of course i'm glad i can see up-to-date pics of family members in other countries. and i do enjoy writing up these little blurbs. but the print industry is suffering. as are musicians trying to break into the scene. our young people have underdeveloped social skills because they spend hours hunched over a computer instead of out in the world learning how to socialize appropriately.

i know you cannot slow the progression of technology nor would i really want to. but doesn't part of you hate how dependent you are on your computer, your cell phone, your GPS (global positioning system)? no need to try different restaurants in search for that gem in the city - there's an app for that. why pick up the phone to greet your friend on her birthday when you can post on her wall? these may seem like fairly trite issues but the bigger picture is there too.

ancient South American tribes were wiped off the planet leaving only the ruins of their vast and beautiful cities. their technology was incredibly advanced for their time. could the same be said about the human race now? perhaps just 5 or 10 years down the line? i for one hope not. because some historians believe that those societies could not handle the rate of their advancement - and were crushed under the weight of their own technology.

I Hate Commercials

seriously. i f-in' hate commercials. i hate them.

now and again, something genuinely fun or interesting will amuse me, but generally, commercials fail at both entertaining me as a viewer and enticing me as a potential customer. some make me downright angry. examples?? no problem...

- the yogurt commercial where the family has a grand old time spraying each other with water out in the backyard. oh i'm sure that sounds fairly benign, maybe even a little fun, but why do they do it in slow motion? the creators of this ad have now turned family fun in the sun into something borderline seductive. slow motion water should be relegated to sex line commercials, r&b music videos or parodies of either. but to have a mom and kids in wet t-shirts, tossing their hair slowly in the sunshine is just gross and creepy. and has NOTHING to do with yogurt.

- the car commercial in which they ask: 'did you see the solar eclipse? did you see the woman with the leopard?' the concept may have looked good on paper but could it be any more condescending? it sounds like it was written by some know-it-all smartass. let's consider the visual: a slick vehicle swerving around some high rises. from the first fade in, it is obviously a car commercial. nothing unique there. so no shit i didn't notice the eclipse or the leopard, but neither do i notice the grassy hills or boutiqe background on any other car commercial! that doesn't make this company special. and the funny part is, i'm not leaving out the name of the car so as not to identify the company... i really actually don't know which one it is. withhold the commission for that writer.

- every eHarmony commercial. let me preface this by saying i have nothing against dating sites or the people who use them. i think love can be found in any way as long as there's mutual trust and respect. but my God...the background music, the slow motion - YES again!! must it be so cheesy and lame? if i was single and wanted to use a dating site, i wouldn't use eHarmony for fear of becoming one of those sickly sweet couples. one in particular grinds my gears: when the gentleman says that bars and clubs are the passive way of meeting someone, and that eHarmony is the active way. hold on a second now. passive means someone other than yourself is doing the work while active says you're doing it. going out involves you gussying up, heading to the hoedown and charming your way into someone's BlackBerry. is that not an active approach? and eHarmony involves you filling out the online survey and having the service match you with potential people. hmmm... sounds passive to me! this is not to compare the merits of each method; i'm sure they both have their pros and cons. but that whole commercial is rendered pointless when their spokesperson doesn't have his terms correct!

i do enjoy the Dos Equis commercials, and for some reason i love the little food characters on the Excel commercial. so it's not all bad out there. some writers are capable of entertaining the audience while remaining memorable. these ads shine all the more brighter when lined up against the rubbish i listed above. we are a materialistic society, wrapped up in consumerism. do these companies not have enough money to pay some good writers?! if they posted a YouTube contest and implored the masses, i'm sure they'd come up with advertising gold...instead of cornball couples and dairy product incest.

Michael Jackson: August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009

there is little i can say about the late great Michael Jackson that has not already been said far more eloquently. the memorial service at the Staples Center in LA has just finished and it was a beautiful and moving tribute to Michael. celebrities, musicians, family and fans found themselves united in their grief, their need for closure and celebration. we were all equal today. we were all mourners.

whatever allegations and accusations surrounded his tragic life, his artistry and generosity transcended all negativity. he changed the world of music and opened doors for people of colour. in sharing his talent with us, he broke down walls and united us through his art. no corner of the Earth was left untouched by his genius and we will never see one like him again.

today, all of the rumours, the eccentricities, the doubts and the criticisms fell away. we were left with an empty spotlight and a gold casket adorned with roses.

he was a prodigy and an artist.
he was a son, a brother, and a father.

from one EmJay to another, thank you for sharing your gift. i'm sorry for how we invaded your life and stole any chance of serenity you may have had. now, finally, may you rest in peace.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine - movie review

entertaining but not memorable.

that's pretty much the bottom line, so feel free to stop reading at anytime...

years ago, while i was still basking in the afterglow of the X-Men trilogy, i heard through the imdb.com grapevine that a Wolverine movie was in the works. my love of Hugh Jackman combined with my childhood memories of the animated series had me totally hyped for this movie. i highly doubted it could actually reach - much less exceed - the high expectations of X-Men fans but i knew i'd be shelling out some cashmoney to watch it on the big screen. even the piss-poor, mid-30s rating it got on rottentomatoes.com couldn't deter me. i heard Liev Schreiber was wonderfully vengeful as Sabretooth and that in itself was worth the ticket... plus, Jackman was fucking jacked, man - did you see those commercials of him bursting out of the tank in wet and sexy fury?!

but i digress. and need to take a cold shower. i don't want to give a ton away in case you haven't seen the movie and still plan to, so i'll make a few points instead:

- the opening scene and credits provide a quick but effective glimpse into Wolverine's past. there are "ohhh i see" moments and an underlying feeling of sorrow for the child whose human existence was replaced by a mutant future in a single explosion of rage. HOWEVER, this walk down memory lane lasted just a few minutes! granted, it did lead into a very cool montage of Wolverine and his brother fighting in various wars, but i think a deeper delving into his childhood would have built his character in a way that the previous X-Men movies did not.

- the chase scenes, the explosions, all very well and good. but occasionally, the CGI was shockingly poor. one scene in particular - in which Wolverine owes his elderly hosts some new porcelain - had the worst-looking adamantium claws i've ever seen. they looked like they were either painted on or lifted from a South Park episode. terrible. also... trying to make Professor X look young - ugh. looked like a rookie Photoshop job.

- Wolverine and his wife had zero chemistry on screen. it was awkward. and when the couple has no chemistry, it's hard to care when something tragic happens. you can't tell me that there weren't hundreds of other gals waiting in line to be his on-screen wife! surely there was someone else whose kisses with him wouldn't look like they resulted from a bad spin of the bottle.

- the debut of Gambit left something to be desired. his style, attitude, and kinetic powers were fairly well done but i was hoping for someone a little more chiseled and a lot more charming. like a younger version of that dude from the Dos Equis commercials ("stay thirsty, my friends").

X-Men Origins: Wolverine still contained the cleverness and fun that fans came to expect. but it lacked the oomph that turns a decent action flick into an awesome superhero movie. some of the new characters and plot twists seemed tacked on or simply there to satisfy the regulars on X-Men internet forums. it's impossible to bring in all the characters people want to see. all in all, i feel it may have been better to build a small cast well instead of a large cast half-heartedly.

90s alternative music

the other day i had a sudden urge to listen to some alternative tunes that were popular back when i was in grade school. i went on youtube, typed in whatever i could remember and was led through playlists upon playlists, all of which reminded me of this great time in music history - especially for canadian bands. remember these gems??

"Remote Control" - Age of Electric
"Incarnate" - Watchmen
"My Old Self" - Wide Mouth Mason
"Caught a Lite Sneeze" - Tori Amos
and anything from I Mother Earth's album Scenery & Fish

shit, i wish the quality of popular music maintained itself throughout these new generations. where are the poetic lyrics? the layers of musicality and the artistic videos? none of the songs in the above list sound anything like each other. each group/artist expressed their unique sound, seemingly for the sake of expressing it. this is not so today. there seems to be this push to prove oneself as a celebrity first and a rockstar second. not only that, but rockstar doesn't necessarily equal musician or artist.

today's generation wants to be entertained and immediately gratified. the song doesn't need artistry if it has a catchy hook, suggestive lyrics, and a seizure-inducing video to match. case in point: "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga - it has spent 19 weeks so far on the Billboard's Top 100. upon searching for the lyrics to this masterpiece, here' s what i found (note: if you know the song, don't sing along, just read it like a poem):

- - -
I wanna hold 'em like they do in Texas Plays
Fold 'em let 'em hit me, raise it baby, stay with me (I love it)
Luck and intuition play the cards with spades to start
And after he's been hooked, I'll play the one that's on his heart

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got

Can't read my, can't read my
No he can't read my poker face (she's got me like nobody)
Can't read my, can't read my
No he can't read my poker face (she's got me like nobody)
- - -

incredible isn't it? like stepping into a lyrical wonderland.

now, there's nothing wrong with repetition because by its description, pop music nearly requires some repeats. but at least add a decent melody to the words! 3 of the 4 lines in that first verse are one note - that is not singing, that is melodic talking. and barely that. you hear more musicality when a congregation of church-goers recite the Apostles' Creed. you get more complexity from the prepubescent rantings of suburban emo children. anyway... i could go on. the point is, i am not a fan of pop music today (dur). and i long for the days of 90s alternative. ohh, remember "Andromeda" by Zuckerbaby? and "Salvation" by the Cranberries?!

Juicy Fruit

so they've brought back the classic juicy fruit jingle with a little pop-country twang. the song, however, is noticeably lacking the best lyric from the original jingle:

"take a sniff, pull it out/ the taste is gonna move you when you pop it in your mouth..."

if this isn't a sign of the decline of our society i don't know what is. apparently, back in the 80s, that line did not make people giggle. go figure.

Ultimate Fighters who can't cut weight

this bothers me to no end. we're nine seasons into The Ultimate Fighter reality show, and still contestants are coming in overweight - so overweight, that they're unable to cut enough to make it onto the show and are forced to give up their spots. cutting weight is not a foreign concept to these fighters. even as single-art young bucks fighting in tournaments at local hockey arenas, they had to cut weight. so by the time they hit the big show, it should be down to a science for them.

but alas... like Clay Guida's brother before them, two contestants this season were overweight, and one couldn't safely cut enough poundage and had to forfeit. even if the fighters don't win the show, likely they'll be given at least one chance in the Octogan. you get your shot unless you're one of the first to be cut or you do something stupid (e.g. Noah's mistake of love for jealousy or that ginger boy who jumped the fence to meet some Vegas Vagina). so why in the world would you risk your best shot at becoming pro just for a few extra beers and Big Macs?

my sibling has been in the competitive bodybuilding world for many years, both as a trainer and as a competitor. so i have seen first-hand how difficult and dangerous cutting weight can be. but my argument is not against how easy it is because i know it isn't. my argument is against those whose road to athletic glory winds through this tough task and yet on the eve of achieving their goal, they fall short because of too much weight. ultimately i just think it's disrespectful...to the UFC, to the other fighters, to the fans, and to the sport itself. competitors sacrifice jobs, homes, and time with their families to train and diet down into competitive shape. but then there are those who don't do enough preparatory work. they're given this incredible opportunity to break into the most successful arena for mixed martial arts, and throw it away for the sake of a few extra nights at the pub. i guess i should be thankful that these chubsters are in the minority. but really, they should be in the history books.